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What’s the “right” way to talk about suicide?
Talking about suicide can feel awkward or scary, but the most important thing is to approach it with care and honesty. There’s no single "right" way to have these conversations—everyone expresses their feelings differently. Some people talk about suicide openly, while others hint at it through jokes, vague statements, or even song lyrics. The key is to listen, take them seriously, and create space for real conversations. It’s important to remember that using the word “suicide” or talking about it directly will not increase the chances that someone takes their own life. Read more on the HEARD Hub >
FAQs
Frequently Asked Questions About Youth Mental Health and Suicide
Find answers to common questions about youth mental health and suicide, submitted by students and answered by HEARD clinicians. For the full list of FAQs, please visit the Youth & Family Toolkit.
What are the warning signs that someone may be suicidal?
There’s no definite way of knowing what someone is going through, but big changes in behavior, mood, or the way they talk can be signs that they’re struggling. This is especially true if their behavior shifts after something really tough—like a loss, a breakup, or a major life change. Most people who are thinking about suicide show at least one warning sign, even if it’s subtle. Warning signs that someone may be suicidal: >What they say – If someone starts talking about: - Feeling like a burden (“Everyone would be better off without me.”) - Feeling trapped (“I just don’t see a way out.”) - Being in unbearable pain (“I can’t do this anymore.”) - Having no reason to live (“What’s the point?”) - Wanting to die (“I just want it all to stop.”) >What they do – Specific behavioral changes to keep an eye on: - Using more alcohol or drugs - Searching for ways to hurt themselves (looking up methods online, collecting pills, etc.) - Taking big risks they wouldn’t normally take (reckless driving, dangerous stunts, etc.) - Pulling away from friends, family, or activities they used to enjoy - Sleeping way too much or barely at all - Saying goodbye to people in a way that feels final - Giving away things they really care about - Acting angry, aggressive, or suddenly calm after a period of distress > How they seem emotionally – Mood changes to look out for: - Depressed or hopeless - Losing interest in things they used to love - Constantly irritated or easily frustrated - Overwhelmed by shame or humiliation - Feeling anxious or on edge - Explosive rage or extreme mood swings
What are the risk factors for suicide?
There’s no single reason why someone might think about suicide. It usually happens when life’s challenges start to feel overwhelming, especially for someone dealing with an existing mental health condition, such as depression, anxiety, substance misuse, bipolar disorder, etc., that has gone undiagnosed or untreated. But mental health struggles don’t automatically lead to suicide—many people learn to manage tough feelings and go on to live full, meaningful lives. While there is typically no single reason why a suicide happens, there are certain factors can make the risk higher. Factors that can increase risk: > Health factors - Mental health conditions like depression, anxiety disorders, bipolar disorder, or psychotic disorders or symptoms - Struggling with substance use (drugs or alcohol) - Chronic illness, serious pain, or even long-term sleep issues > Life Situations (Environmental factors) - Losing someone important (death, divorce, or a breakup) - Being bullied, harassed, or feeling rejected - Losing a job or struggling financially - Easy access to things that could be used for self-harm (like firearms or certain medications) - Hearing about or seeing suicide (especially in the media or in a close community), a phenomenon also known as “contagion” > Past experiences (Historical factors) - A personal history of suicide attempts - A family history of suicide
What should I do if my friend or family member says they’re thinking about suicide?
First of all, it’s really brave of them to open up to you. That means they trust you, which can feel scary or overwhelming, but you don’t have to handle this alone. The most important thing you can do is take them seriously and help them get support. Here are a few steps you can take. 1. Talk to them – Let them know you care and that they’re not alone. Try saying: > “I’m really worried about you. I’m here, and I want to help.” > “Are you thinking about suicide?” (It’s okay to say the word—it won’t make things worse.) > “When did you start feeling this way?” > “Do you have a plan?” *Find more tips for how to support a friend at NeverABother.org. 2. Don’t promise to keep it a secret – They might ask you not to tell anyone, but if their life is at risk, this is one secret you can’t keep. A real friend helps, even if it means they get mad at you for a little while. 3. Get help from a trusted adult – You don’t have to do this alone. Reach out to a parent, teacher, school counselor, or another trusted adult. You can also call or text 988 for immediate support. 4. Take care of yourself too – Hearing something like this from a friend or family member can be a lot. You might feel scared, sad, or even frustrated. That’s okay. Talk to someone you trust about how you’re feeling too. Just remember: you are not responsible for saving someone, but you can help them get the support they need.
How do I know if a teen’s emotional & behavioral ups and downs are just expected growing pains or something more?
Being a teen (or raising one) comes with a rollercoaster of emotional and behavioral shifts. Mood swings, new interests, and some pushing away from family are all part of growing up. But sometimes, changes can be signs of something more serious. Here’s how to tell the difference. > Totally expected ups & downs: - Feeling emotions more intensely—getting moody or irritable easily - Wanting more space and independence from family (spending more time alone or with friends) - Trying new things, including some risk-taking (experimenting with alcohol, dating, etc.) > Signs something might be wrong: - Losing interest in friends, family, or favorite activities - Big shifts in energy, eating, or sleeping habits - Constant stomach aches, headaches, or other physical issues with no clear cause - Overwhelming feelings of sadness, anxiety, hopelessness, or rage that seem out of character - Not taking care of hygiene or personal appearance - Using alcohol or drugs in a way that feels out of control - Taking dangerous risks (illegal activity, reckless behavior) - Acting extremely paranoid or suspicious of others - Seeing or hearing things that others don’t - Sudden weight gain or loss that doesn’t make sense - Self-harm (cutting, burning, etc.) If you’re worried about yourself or someone in your life, it’s okay to reach out for help. Talking to a trusted adult, friend, or mental health professional can make a huge difference.
What is the meaning and process of a 5150 hold during an emergency room visit for a mental health crisis?
A 5150 (for adults) or 5185 (for minors) hold in California allows for the involuntary detainment and evaluation of an individual experiencing a mental health crisis. This process ensures immediate safety and access to necessary mental health services. > Meaning of a 5150/5185 Hold: - Purpose: It provides a legal mechanism to transport someone in serious mental health distress to an emergency department or psychiatric facility for evaluation and treatment, even if they are unwilling to go voluntarily. - Criteria: The individual must pose an immediate safety threat to themselves or others due to a mental health condition. - Initiation: A qualified professional, such as a law enforcement officer, school counselor, or other trained professional certified by the county, can initiate the hold. > Process: - Contacting Emergency Services: If an adolescent is in crisis, contact emergency services (988 or the Mobile Crisis Unit) for evaluation and possible transport to the nearest emergency room. - Evaluation: In the ER, a physician will assess the individual's condition and determine the appropriate course of action. - 72-Hour Hold: If the individual meets the criteria for a 5150/5185 hold, they may be involuntarily detained for up to 72 hours for evaluation and treatment. - Possible Outcomes: After the evaluation, the individual may be admitted to the hospital, released with a discharge plan, or transported to an inpatient psychiatric facility. > What to Expect During an ER Visit for a Mental Health Crisis: - Emergency Evaluation: The individual will undergo a thorough evaluation to assess their mental state and determine the severity of the crisis. - Observation: They may be placed under observation to ensure their safety and monitor their mental state. - Limited Medication: If the individual is agitated, they may not be given medication to calm them immediately, as it could mask symptoms important for the evaluation. - Safety Measures: A guard may be placed by their door for safety. - Family Involvement: Family members may be able to sit with the individual but may also be asked to leave for private conversations between the physician and the individual. - Discharge Planning: If released, a discharge plan will be provided, outlining recommendations for follow-up care and support.
Access the complete list of FAQs in the Youth & Family Toolkit
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